Archive for May 17th, 2007


Thursday, May 17th, 2007

I was watching the film “The Debut” with my USF students a few weeks ago, and got the sinking feeling that some of the rituals enacted therein were suspiciously close to the some of the impending rituals I’m involved in. debutdvdcoverfinal.jpg
While the film is not entirely about an actual Fil-Am “debut,” (it’s like, a metaphor…) it got me thinking about the excessive fantasizing and planning that goes into a number of diva-enabling moments like debuts, proms, and weddings.

Now, some of you already know how I feel about diva antics, and weddings/bridezillas in particular. Having a big old wedding is most definitely not on my to-do list, and never will be. And yet, most straight women have an exceedingly active fantasy life around their ‘queen for a day’ moment, starting with high school proms, escalating through debuts/ cotillions/ quinceaneras/ super sweet sixteens, and culminating with being the bride of all brides on their wedding day. (M.O.B. has, of course, done extensive research on this subject, and has built an entire business venture around it):

Always A Bridesmaid, Never A Bride, Inc



Always A Bridesmaid, Never A Bride, Inc

Now, to be sure, of course: I’m not one of those women. Not interested in participating in a big fat consumer spectacle of hypocrisy and heterocentric values (and I’m straight!), for some strange reason. I do love a good spectacle, though, and to paraphrase Tom Waits, it is fun going to weddings, so long as it’s not my own. There’s a reason I’m one of the co-founders of Always A Bridesmaid, Never A Bride Inc.

My poor cousin Alexis, who used to run an amazing wedding florals company, didn’t know what to do with me when I used to help out at The FlowerHouse some years ago. I would torture her with incessant, snarky suggestions like balls and chains for the bouquets, fried chicken for the reception floral centerpieces, or actual “maid” outfits for the brides-maids (I quit before she could fire me).

Anyway, as it turns out:

I’ve been getting all wound up about the planning and details for the upcoming MFA graduation and thesis exhibition.
I have even begun to feel entitled enough to blather on about it on this public forum:
the preparations, the “save the date”, the invitations, the speaker, the guests, the schedule, the ceremony, the exhibition, the reception, the DJ (Matthew Africa: Haaaaay), the after-event dinner, and of course, what kind of dress I should wear for all of this…

…well, you see where this is going.


And I thought I was immune to this diva nonsense, unless in full M.O.B drag.

Today, a new term has been coined.